Anger The Advocate

Whether you were taught that anger was a go to emotion, a weapon, an evil act or a feeling that you are supposed to avoid or run from, anger is a necessary part of healing. 

Anger is not evil. Anger is not wrong. Anger is an indicator. 

How can anger be framed into a healthy part of healing, recovery, and being human? 

Let anger be the voice to unmet needs. 

Anger rises up for four reasons: 

1. Cry justice

2. Need to grieve

3. A need for a boundary

4. An unmet need

5. Identifying current versus past threats

Often, in really hard situations anger rises up for more than one reason.  

Anger can be incorporated in healthy recovery. Anger is like the fertilizer of a plant. Some can help sprout growth, enhance life and motivation. Too much or misdirected anger can kill the goal and the fruit. What does healthy anger look like? 

Healthy anger is about embracing the root cause, knowing how to represent it, and allowing yourself to process it without judgment or abuse towards others.  

Anger can get trapped in the body. The emotional brain is wired for attachment and survival and doesn't keep time. It doesn't care how old a wound is or how long its been. It will record the threat until it feels fully safe and healed. This is where brainspottting can assist in disarming old subconscious sabotagers. Releasing anger physically in non abusive ways can be healing. Smash rooms, throwing eggs, air boxing, creating with art can be some avenues to express and understand anger. Anger is often a misunderstood emotion. It is strong and can cause reactions which harm relational healing. In anger name calling is still abusive. Throwing things at people is abusive. 

If you are having trouble accessing anger or if you are using it as a go to emotion, doing a deep dive into how anger was represented and principles of anger in your upbringing can help unlock why you won't allow it. Were there people who were abusive, out of control, acting in rage, repressed, overcontrolled, or detached and represented anger in warped ways. Examining the four reasons above in light of your situation may bring new awareness which can reduce frustration and anger. Suppressed and prolonged anger can make the body sick. Healthy expression and exploration of anger can be healing and clarifying. 

If you are using words like frustration, resentment, or aggravation you have anger to work through. If your coach or counselor has pointed out that you are not allowing yourself to explore anger let yourself consider how it can help you heal. It is a motivator and possibly one emotion that directs change.